Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Playgirl Incident

  When I was in college I came home on the weekends brought the laundry and helped around the house. On weekend, dad needed me to help clean out an apartment for a friend of his. (Hint: he doesn't like spiders)
  As we were finishing the project my dad came across a stash of playgirl magazines that some one had thrown out. One was still in the plastic. So I picked it up and tossed it in the truck.
  He made fun of me about my choice of literature.
  "You know that nude men pose in that magazine,” he asked, holding back the laugher.
  "Yep," I answer.
  "Why then is it sitting on my dash?" he demanded to know, now laughing almost uncontrollably.
  "I have a plan," I answered.
  "Does it involve some alone time?” he asked, turning in the seat and almost driving completely off the road.
  "No dad, it is better if I don't involve you."
  We made it home and dad went out into his shop. We spend a lot of time out there. I slipped inside and took an old Red Book from my mother stash.
  He watched as I cut the label of my mother’s magazine and glued it on to the playgirl.
  I looked over at him at that point and grinned.
   "Yep, you’re right, it is best you don't get me involved in this," he said, returning to his work. As I walked away I could here him laughing.
  I waited for the mailman to come by and drop the mail into the box. When he was gone I slipped over to the mail box and added a small surprise.
  Mom came out an hour later to find what she thought was a playboy. She was ‘Ready to fly“. (Mother’s catch phrase) Somewhere from the mail box to the kitchen, she noticed the name on the magazine and then the fact it was a playgirl magazine
  Two minutes later she was out talking to my dad. (Screaming Really)
  "What does the mailman think of me? A woman of my age getting magazine like this; who ordered this filth."
  She called my brother and I am sure my sisters, hinting around to the little surprise in that days mail.
  She knew it was a joke, but she was worried about more magazines coming in the mail. She worked it out that there were more on the way. I almost order more to tell you the truth but dad threaten to disown me or worse tell her where it came from. For months she ran out to the mail box each day to look for more magazines.
  She really began to fixate on the mail box until dad decided to tell her the truth. I got a phone call a few minute later.
  "YOU!" was all she needed to yell on the phone.
  “So he told you,” I laughed, understanding that was the only thing I had done that she would be that mad at me for.
  After she passed away we sorted through her things. There in a box my brother found the magazine. It is in new condition, she never read it, but I would like to think she kept it to reminder herself she owned me one.

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